Crazy Kitty Love

Confessions of a cat lady…..

Chasing Love- updated

Chasing Love

I’ve been quiet lately, I know. I just figured that there will be times i blog and times i don’t. But overall, I tend to blog about love and broken hearts.

About 3 weeks ago, I met a new guy. He is great and we clicked almost immediately…however, I just wasn’t really attracted to him. After our first date, I told him that I wasn’t ready to kiss and wanted to take it slow. This is unusual for me. We texted a LOT day and night, but i still kept my distance a tad in saying anything too forward. After a few dates, we kissed and a little more, but still no sex. I kept my word that I wasn’t ready. He really liked me, I could tell and I started to become a lot more attracted to him. Every morning at 7:40, he sends me a good morning text. I really like this guy. He was married before, has a child, has lost a ton of weight, so I knew that he had life experiences that were good and that HE is a good person. Last week, sex just happened. A few days later, he got sick, then had a fight with his roomie and his daughter was coming in town. He is beyond stressed. Then 7:40 came and left with no text. Texts became less and less. A day has not gone by where we didn’t communicate, but it was still noticeably less. When he has his daughter all of his time is devoted to her, so I knew we wouldn’t really see each other over the weekend. So….last night we talked on the phone for awhile and i addressed all of my concerns. He says that he has a lot of his plate and is super stressed and that we had sex too soon and he is freaking out a bit. What does that EVEN mean?? I put up such a wall at first. I almost feel like I just can’t win when it comes to the whole sex thing. He is one of those people who shuts everyone out when he is stressed about stuff, so he said he isn’t quite sure when he would be ready to see me again. But then we also started talking about future plans and how i would meet his daughter one day. This is all so very confusing to me. I really like this guy now. It is funny how when i was aloof and unsure, he was chasing me like a maniac and the minute i had a change of heart to really let him in, he has backed away. This whole cat and mouse game is something that I’ve yet to master.

UPDATE-  Well, i just got the infamous ” I can only offer friendship at this time” text message.  What the fuck!?    Is this my CURSE?   SUCH a disappointment.

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Let’s call the new guy “26”, because that is how old he is. I am 37. Initially when he messaged me on the dating website saying that he was interested in me, I sent a very polite “thanks, but no thanks” back to him. I told him that he was so much younger than me and out of my age range. He continued to message me telling me how much he was interested in getting to know me. A week went by of messages. He was charming, so I agreed to meet for coffee. From the minute he walked in the door, I liked him. He was quirky, fun and talked really fast. He swears, like everyone else, that I am not 37. Most people peg me to be around 30. I’ll take it. I can be immature, wear funky mis-matched clothes, make inappropriate jokes and tend to be on the odd side. I can also act my age, if need be. I’ve seen him 3 times since and we are supposed to go to San Francisco on Friday to the zoo, which we both seem really excited about. I am not holding my breath. I’ve been screwed over so many times that I just wait for the crappy text about “needing more time” or “I’m not ready” or “you aren’t the one”. They always come. But eventually one person will stick. They won’t send that message and will have no intention on doing so. I want that so bad. I want to be wanted. I want someone to be around me as much as I enjoy being around them. Eventually, it will happen.  Until then, I will just enjoy this.  Meeting new people & having interesting stories to relay to my friends.  🙂


Feeling it. (updated)

Feeling it.

I had a date last weekend with someone that I met online and had been talking to on the phone. I had not met him in person yet. So, on Saturday I was less than 10 minutes away to meeting him and my tire blew on the freeway. I called him to let him know and surprisingly he asked me where I was and said he would be there in 15 minutes. 15 minutes later, he pulled up behind my car and that is when we met for the very first time. He gave me a hug, we said hello and he proceeded to change my tire. It was so awesome! Then, I followed him the rest of the way. Since then there has been another long date, constant texts and in general I am feeling really happy. I think he feels the same. I’ve been hurt so many times, that in the back of my mind, I know he can disappear at any moment never to be heard from again. I really hope he sticks around though.

UPDATE:   One day after this post and I already got the “I’m sorry.  i need time to get my shit together” text.  Unbelievable.  I know it was too good to be true.  I swear, these guys are artists in the rarest of forms!


The word of the day is Pulchritudinous!

The word of the day is Pulchritudinous!


It is an adjective and it used to describe a person beyond beautiful, the next level above gorgeous, someone that even Aphrodite would envy. To a person who doesn’t know the meaning of this word may think at first is that it is a vulgar word and a not nice thing to say. But they are wrong, it is actually the opposite. This word is bloody difficult to say! Only the skilled and boldest can use it very charming. When someone uses this word a shooting star falls from the sky, a phoenix is reborn and an unicorn mates.

This word originated from a man that was totally into this girl, but she has been called cute, hot, sexy, gorgeous, beautiful and even sexy. And when she hear this man call her very attractive, she compared him to the rest. The man had perseverance and refuse to give up his love to this women. He then used his litterateur skills and thought of a word that can describe his feelings one sentence. Pulchritudinous. He said it one night to the girl when she was going to bed. He said ask for the meaning of the word when you are ready. The women sat at nights thinking of the word but gave up and told the man she is ready….It touched her heart even if the word did not sound like a harmony but the meaning and what was inside the word is what it all counts.

pəl-krə-ˈtüd-nəs, -ˈtyüd-; -ˈtü-dən-əs, -ˈtyü

I just received a message on my dating site that said:
That smile, those eyes & those curves. Pulchritudinous!

Wow. What a nice comment, pick up line or whatever you want to call it! I will take the ego boost for the day! Too bad he lives in Los Angeles!


Turning the Other Cheek

Turning the Other Cheek

As I was browsing through profiles on my dating site, I stopped at one man in particular. Staring back at me was a husband of a girl that I went to high school with. We used to be friends in high school and now we are “facebook friends”. I couldn’t believe it. His profile said he was “separated” and there were current pictures of him on there. I immediately sent her best friend a message on facebook since I figured that she would take it better from her friend that talks to her on a regular. A few hours later, I received a message from her friend saying that the profile was “fake” and someone created it without him knowing. Now, I wasn’t born yesterday and I certainly know a lie/excuse when I hear one, but i said to myself that my job was done, I let a sister know and I went on with my business. A few days have passed and the girl who’s husband was online updated her face book status with a few very mean, choice words obviously pointed at me. So, I messaged her asking her. She played dumb, but then she told me something very interesting. She told me that her and a friend thought it was funny and created a “fake” profile for her husband awhile back. Hilarious, right?? I beg to differ. Do people realize that there are legitimate women and men on these sites trying to find relationships? I find it to be very childish and ridiculous to create a FAKE profile for anyone. I decided to delete her from facebook and I blocked her to boot. I don’t need negative people in my life. I also don’t need “friends” who think it is funny to mess with others. Shame on her.


Run Away

Run Away

This morning I had something happen that has happened before and I’m just not sure why men feel the need to do this. So, after a couple of dates with the same guy, he was clearly just moving incredibly too fast. He basically was talking about love, feelings, kids and moving in together which I am NOWHERE NEAR  ready for. However, I listened to him talk about all of these things and where he thought our relationship was heading. He just seems so in love with me so fast. I need more time, but I am enjoying our time together.
Fast Forward to this morning, I got a 5 page text basically saying “he is confused and good luck with my search on finding someone”. I am shocked. Not because I had feelings for him, but because I feel duped, once again. This is not the first time I have encountered this and I just am baffled. Why say all of these “future” type plans of love and marriage, when you are not feeling them?
I am okay though. I still feel I am not ready for another relationship anyway, but this just warns me of all of the crazy people that are out there.

Run away man-child. I don’t need you in my life!


This little heart of mine….

This little heart of mine....

I find myself more guarded these days. More careful and selective on who I want into my life. I’ve been hurt way too many times and I just don’t know if this heart could handle another disappointment. Sometimes I wish that I could just somehow turn off my heart emotions and only use my brain. Easier said than done. My “meet up” date the other day went well. I found myself making a mental list of things that I liked and things that I do not like. I enjoy talking to someone new, but am just not sure if it is a match or not. He likes to talk on the phone a LOT and I am just not into it. His nervous jibber jabber turns into a “talk -a- mile- a -minute” blur, to the point where I can not even understand what he is saying. However, I can not make a clear judgement quite yet. Another date is in the works. My heart still cries for my ex though. We still talk on a regular basis and I just really wish that it could have turned out differently, but I know this decision was the best one. I finally have been enjoying my alone time again with my cats and with my friends. Next week my bestie is taking the whole day off so that we can go to the state fair together. I SO need this as we have not been spending a lot of time together. Our busy lives have gotten in the way. I am healing and doing better. Accepting each day as it comes and trying new friendships out. Only time will tell what is in store for me!


I’m a Loner, Dottie

I'm a Loner, Dottie

It is interesting how different I am when I am in a relationship Vs Single. When I am in a relationship, I am an intense planner. I like to know when, where, why and how we are going somewhere. I guess it is my way of always having a connection with my partner. When I am single, I like to play it by ear. I do make plans, but then sometimes regret it because I would rather be alone when the day arrives. I also like to leave myself completely open in case my mind changes or I want to go elsewhere on a whim. When I am single, I also have realized that I really love to go to movies all by myself. I can pick the movie I want. I don’t have to wait for anyone else to arrive and I can eat my popcorn in peace. I really DO enjoy being in a relationship and I really DO enjoy doing things with my friends when I am in the mood. But sometimes, I DO just like being alone enjoying my own company.
I’m a Loner, Dottie, A Rebel.

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Mr. Wrong

Mr. Wrong

When I think about ever dating again (still not ready, but open to seeing what is out there), I think of all of my past boyfriends. A few were great, but most were wrong & truth be told, even the great ones had major flaws. I don’t know why I settle and accept certain traits about men that I do not care for. So this time around, I am being selfish and picky. Maybe I won’t find anyone, but I would rather be true to myself than to compromise my expectations. After all, I can do bad all by myself. So I have taken note of a few things that I will NOT accept & I will not even give you a second glance if you possess any of these things:

-If you are a smoker
-If you do drugs of any kind (been there, done that. I am not against marijuana use, but i do not want to be in a relationship with someone who partakes)
-You MUST have a job and live on your own. (in between jobs, going to school, living with family…I need a man that can stand on his own)
-If you are an excessive drinker you are not for me! Cocktails, yes! But if you have to get drunk every night or to feel comfortable  socially then move along.
-Excessive video game playing. I love video games too, but if you would rather sit for hours/days on end instead of going out with me, then I am not the one for you.
-If you do NOT want kids (i am not ready to close the door on the possibility just yet)
-If you do not ever want to be intimate
-If you do not believe in marriage, then you don’t believe in “us”.
-If you do not have a mode of transportation

I am worth it. I am a good catch. I have a good job, good family & a running car. I want these things in my partner and I don’t think it is too much to ask. I have accepted the fact that I could be single for a very long time looking for these things, but I don’t care. I need to feel equal to my partner and I won’t back down. 🙂




While talking to my ex yesterday, I came right out and told him that he lied to me. He claims he did not lie, but just withheld the truth (same difference). He had told me from the VERY beginning that he would like to be married at some point and that he would like children. Of course now, the tables turned and he says he doesn’t want those things, BUT he had said those things to me just to make me happy. Really? Those are not “things” that you tell someone that you are in a relationship with to make them happy. Why do men do this? It wastes my time and yours. It is interesting though, because i have heard and read of men saying this before and then no sooner do they leave, they find someone else and are married within a year. Why can’t people just be honest? Communication is SO important, yet people do NOT do it! It is beyond frustrating.