Crazy Kitty Love

Confessions of a cat lady…..

Chasing Love- updated

Chasing Love

I’ve been quiet lately, I know. I just figured that there will be times i blog and times i don’t. But overall, I tend to blog about love and broken hearts.

About 3 weeks ago, I met a new guy. He is great and we clicked almost immediately…however, I just wasn’t really attracted to him. After our first date, I told him that I wasn’t ready to kiss and wanted to take it slow. This is unusual for me. We texted a LOT day and night, but i still kept my distance a tad in saying anything too forward. After a few dates, we kissed and a little more, but still no sex. I kept my word that I wasn’t ready. He really liked me, I could tell and I started to become a lot more attracted to him. Every morning at 7:40, he sends me a good morning text. I really like this guy. He was married before, has a child, has lost a ton of weight, so I knew that he had life experiences that were good and that HE is a good person. Last week, sex just happened. A few days later, he got sick, then had a fight with his roomie and his daughter was coming in town. He is beyond stressed. Then 7:40 came and left with no text. Texts became less and less. A day has not gone by where we didn’t communicate, but it was still noticeably less. When he has his daughter all of his time is devoted to her, so I knew we wouldn’t really see each other over the weekend. So….last night we talked on the phone for awhile and i addressed all of my concerns. He says that he has a lot of his plate and is super stressed and that we had sex too soon and he is freaking out a bit. What does that EVEN mean?? I put up such a wall at first. I almost feel like I just can’t win when it comes to the whole sex thing. He is one of those people who shuts everyone out when he is stressed about stuff, so he said he isn’t quite sure when he would be ready to see me again. But then we also started talking about future plans and how i would meet his daughter one day. This is all so very confusing to me. I really like this guy now. It is funny how when i was aloof and unsure, he was chasing me like a maniac and the minute i had a change of heart to really let him in, he has backed away. This whole cat and mouse game is something that I’ve yet to master.

UPDATE-  Well, i just got the infamous ” I can only offer friendship at this time” text message.  What the fuck!?    Is this my CURSE?   SUCH a disappointment.

1 Comment »

For me.

For me.

There are very few times that I make large purchases, especially for myself. I bend over backwards to help my partners when i am in a relationship & if i am being honest, I should NEVER have to buy them something. But I have dated some needy men, most without jobs and whom take advantage of me. So, in this time of being single, I am trying to take care of me! I really have been wanting a new couch for awhile and I’ve been eyeing this one for quite some time. So, i bought it. I saved my money and walked in a purchased myself a couch and it FEELS GREAT! I had to order it, so i don’t exactly have it in my possession yet, but i will soon enough. Yay for me!




It has been awhile since I have posted. I have been busy with life. Still dating, but nothing seems to be working out. There has been one from the beginning (remember the guy that changed my tire?) that has got a grip on me. We have such a spark and connection but he can’t offer anything more than a “thing” here and there. He really does need to get his shit together because we would be great together. I feel as if I have already fallen for him, yet i am TRYING to keep an open mind. Does “Friends with Benefits” ever end up working?? I dunno. Until someone else sweeps me off of my feet I will just try and have fun. I know what i really want deep down. But maybe i just want it too much. Maybe if i step back and just try to go with the flow for once things may work in my favor. Here is to hoping anyway!



I pulled out my GOTYE CD again the other day. I used to listen to it non stop. This song gets me EVERY TIME. I cried this morning on the way to work. Pretty much any time i listen to it, it makes me sad. Listen to the words. I seen an interview where they explain the meaning behind it. It is about a friend that had to put their dog to sleep. I think of my cats every time i hear it. The song itself is really pretty. I just love it.

Leave a comment »



Let’s call the new guy “26”, because that is how old he is. I am 37. Initially when he messaged me on the dating website saying that he was interested in me, I sent a very polite “thanks, but no thanks” back to him. I told him that he was so much younger than me and out of my age range. He continued to message me telling me how much he was interested in getting to know me. A week went by of messages. He was charming, so I agreed to meet for coffee. From the minute he walked in the door, I liked him. He was quirky, fun and talked really fast. He swears, like everyone else, that I am not 37. Most people peg me to be around 30. I’ll take it. I can be immature, wear funky mis-matched clothes, make inappropriate jokes and tend to be on the odd side. I can also act my age, if need be. I’ve seen him 3 times since and we are supposed to go to San Francisco on Friday to the zoo, which we both seem really excited about. I am not holding my breath. I’ve been screwed over so many times that I just wait for the crappy text about “needing more time” or “I’m not ready” or “you aren’t the one”. They always come. But eventually one person will stick. They won’t send that message and will have no intention on doing so. I want that so bad. I want to be wanted. I want someone to be around me as much as I enjoy being around them. Eventually, it will happen.  Until then, I will just enjoy this.  Meeting new people & having interesting stories to relay to my friends.  🙂


Hi! Want to have my baby?

Hi, I'm Heidi.  Want to have my baby?

The dating world is definitely an interesting one. I have been going on a few dates with the same guy, who seems pretty nice, when a very interesting topic came up. Kids. Most guys will run at the thought of even talking about children. He said that he is 41 and he would really like a child at some point, I agreed and said that I would to. But then i followed it up with saying this.

me- Yeah, but what do you do…introduce yourself and say “lets have kids”?

him- Why not? I don’t see a problem with that if that is what you want and that is what I want. Why can’t two people who are near the end of their child bearing stage, who knows exactly what they want express that to each other?

me- So, you would be perfectly ok if i looked at you right now and asked do you want to have a child with me?

him- Yes, absolutely, because that is what i want too.

WHOA! Wow…. um… what do i say to this? I totally understand his point. No time to waste….but how scary is that? I’ve been pondering over the entire conversation all weekend long. I just do not even know how to process it. I don’t even know this person yet. Is this what dating when you are older is like? Fast decision making before the time has passed? *sigh*


This little heart of mine….

This little heart of mine....

I find myself more guarded these days. More careful and selective on who I want into my life. I’ve been hurt way too many times and I just don’t know if this heart could handle another disappointment. Sometimes I wish that I could just somehow turn off my heart emotions and only use my brain. Easier said than done. My “meet up” date the other day went well. I found myself making a mental list of things that I liked and things that I do not like. I enjoy talking to someone new, but am just not sure if it is a match or not. He likes to talk on the phone a LOT and I am just not into it. His nervous jibber jabber turns into a “talk -a- mile- a -minute” blur, to the point where I can not even understand what he is saying. However, I can not make a clear judgement quite yet. Another date is in the works. My heart still cries for my ex though. We still talk on a regular basis and I just really wish that it could have turned out differently, but I know this decision was the best one. I finally have been enjoying my alone time again with my cats and with my friends. Next week my bestie is taking the whole day off so that we can go to the state fair together. I SO need this as we have not been spending a lot of time together. Our busy lives have gotten in the way. I am healing and doing better. Accepting each day as it comes and trying new friendships out. Only time will tell what is in store for me!


Miss you. Don’t Miss you.

Miss you. Don't Miss you.

Things I Miss about you:
• Your laugh
• Talking to you whenever I would wake up since you don’t sleep at night
• Acceptance of my body
• You saying that you love me a million times a day
• Your goofy side
• Your fun t-shirts
• Going to Disneyland with you
• Your love of Doctor Who (even though I am not a fan)
• Your love of cooking and the delicious meals that you made
• Talking about our everyday life
• Your hugs
• Your voice
• Seeing you everyday

Things I won’t Miss:
• Your love of Doctor Who
• It never being dark or quiet in the bedroom
• The high electricity bill from you always being home
• Wondering if you are telling me the truth or not
• You sleeping in until 2 or 3 pm each day.
• Your garbage all over the apartment
• Asking you to help out, only to find you have not
• Paying for most everything

1 Comment »